Thursday, July 26, 2007

Author Unknown...

There are women who become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money, or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for a child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle everyday for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed them.
I count myself blessed in this sense, that God has given me this insight, this special vision which I will look upon my child in a way that other mothers don't. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbour, friend and sister because I have known pain. Real pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell in a way that many never face. Yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of others eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes when walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
And I will be a wonderful mother.

5 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

that is just a beautiful post..thanks for sharing this!!.

1:09 AM  
Blogger M and M said...

WOW!

So VERY true. I often think that people don't appreciate their fertility - but as you said, that is the nature of humanity.

7:33 AM  
Blogger M and M said...

I couldn't find an e-mail for you on your profile...

CONGRATS!! You made it through the Review Room!!!!

YEAH!!!

1:09 PM  
Blogger G said...

This has been my first visit to your blog - and I've been moved to tears. You have so elequontly put into words the riot of emotions I too often feel as a waiting adoptive parent. It was just what I needed when I needed it & I thank you. I look forward to hearing more about your journey to your child.

1:28 PM  
Blogger Napoleon said...

I often think the same thing. When people have 5 kids without trying and treat them like a dog or something.

If everyone in the world realised how hard it is for some people to have children imagine how appriciated children in the world would be.

3:01 PM  

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