Friday, April 06, 2007

10 Months... can you believe it?

We thought we would travel to China to bring our daughter home 6 months after being LID. Well that was 10 months ago. 10. Yes 10. Say it again... 10 months. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. Double Digits TEN. I couldn't even post a 9 Months LID Anniversary because... well it was just too darn depressing. Is too darn depressing.

If I think about this wait for our child too much, spend too much time in "that place" I can sometimes find myself falling into that dark, dark place I often found myself in during IVF. The plan was to become a Mum at 28 - when we first started having BMS (baby making sex)... and now at 35 I am faced with the absolute fact that I am going to be an older first time Mum. And I can't do anything about it. Not for me, not for Shane. I will most likely become a Mum at 36 - eight years after it was 'supposed' to happen. Yes 8 years. Repeat... 8 years. Eight years of waiting... a wait which for most people is generally 9 months.

We began the adoption process in October 2004 - 2.5 years ago - about the same time I started this BLOG. I have been 'pregnant' for 2.5 years, I have watched relatives, friends and colleagues not only have one child, but 2 and some approaching 3 in the time we have waited for our baby girl. This journey is hard... adoption is not the easy path.

But you know what...

Baby girl I know you are waiting for us... you are in China waiting for us to get on a plane and come to you, and hold you and never let you go (cause we won't) and bring you home... where there is already so much love from your family. You already have beautiful clothes, and toys, and everything you could ever imagine... but most of all you are loved. Loved by your Nana's and Poppies, Aunties and Uncles... and by us, your Mum and Dad - we already love you more than you could ever imagine... our Princess.

I pray for a big batch of referrals this month, I pray those children come home to their families soon, I pray we see your face before the end of this year.

Happy Easter my baby girl - wherever you are. Angel.
XXX

posted by Lisa and Shane at Friday, April 06, 2007

5 Comments:

Blogger C's Mom said...

Ten months behind you! You are closer to your little one each day though I know how hard it can be to feel that.

You will not be an 'old' mommy. Not by a longshot.

10:36 PM  
Blogger D said...

Even though it seems endless, one day you'll board a plane to China and be so excited you won't be able to sleep!

Great post...very moving!

11:53 PM  
Blogger kitchu said...

Such a heartfelt post, and I understand how hard it is when our plans don't work out the way we had hoped. Here I am, almost 40, adopting on my own (he told me he wanted to divorce 2 months shy of referral)... not the way I envisioned becoming a mom. But as long as my daughter is at the end of this very, very long road, it's worth every month of waiting...

Hang in there. She will be in your arms, one day...happy 10 months down. Hopefully you are more than half way there...

12:21 AM  
Blogger Don and Be said...

Hello Lisa & Shane,
We are happy to have come across the 2 of you in blogland. At 56 & 48, we are going to be first time parents (for other reasons) and we wait in the hope that things will speed up, like yourselves, I'm sure. We have had all the 'fallout' from adopting so late in life, but really, it's just the right time.
We share your heart for the adoption process and wish you peace.
Don & Be

5:08 AM  
Blogger Mayken said...

I'm right there with you. I'll be turning 35 this year and Darren will be 40! We started our paperchase in April of 2005 and have been LID just one year. My sis is about to have her first child after 10 years of trying. I find myself going between happy for her and sad for me. But I know lots of first time parents in their late 40s and early 50s so we are by far the "young" crowd. Hang in there. One day it WILL be our turn!
Blessings!

5:18 PM  

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