One strange (but I think meaningful) experience...

Hi sweetheart,

Just had to share what happened to me on the weekend. I was in Big W - a department store, buying some bits and pieces for you (don't tell Daddy), when a lady I had never met before came up to me. She was Chinese, with a strong Chinese accent, and she turned to me while we werre looking at baby clothes, and said "I have just given birth to a baby girl."

I didn't know what to say, so all I said was "congratulations, she must be very precious."

In a strange way, and in my calculations - I somehow think this was a message to me from your birth Mummy. You have just been born, and I can feel it in my heart, you are about to start your journey to us.

You are in my prayers as you make your way through what is about to be your most difficult time. You are so small, and so alone. Princess, I cry for you and my heart aches to think that before yor become a part of this family, you will have to experience such an experience. Every day I want you here, cuddled up with Daddy and I, warm, wanted, loved and safe.

May my God watch over you, give you the strength to know that things will be wonderful one day, and that you will be found quickly.

Love you with all my heart.
Mummy xxx

Raf and Kenya...hhmmmm not guilty at all

Hello Angel,

Here are your puppy dogs Raf and Kenya after Daddy and I left them inside one night while we went out to dinner (it was very stormy outside). Half way through dinner Daddy and I realised we had left a bag of rubbish on the floor ready to take out to the bin... here's the result - such innocent faces.

Mummy x

One year down and one to go...

Hi baby girl,

Daddy and I were in Parrammatta on the weekend, which is where we attended the adoption seminar - one whole year ago. I can't believe it was a year ago, and here we are... one year later, a little bit closer to you, and probably just under a year to wait. I hope the next year goes as quickly as this last one has.

Daddy and I had our last meeting with the Social Worker last night - who has advised that she will approve us to adopt, and went as far to say that in her report she is asked to document any 'risks', ie. negative things about us, she said "I don't think I can fill that bit in - I can't find anything wrong."

One step closer.

Alison will write up her report and then send it to DoCS for official approval - then we are 'paper pregnant' and can announce your arrival to the world... and believe me I will shout it from the roof tops!

Hoping you are well and warm and have a fully belly.

Mummy xxx

Noosa...

Hey Gorgeous Girl,

I am feeling a bit alone this evening - Daddy is at work. So I thought I would tell you about what we have been doing. Mummy and Daddy have just come back from a long weekend in the Sunshine Coast in Queensland (near where we got married) and had a GREAT time. We really went to see a company who is going to build our house - but Mummy and Daddy splashed out some money and hired a great (and very expensive) car for the weekend, and a really nice apartment. We had a really nice few days together, but I think we are so desperately wanting you in our life that we spent much of our time talking about you.

Princess, I don't know if you will ever understand just how much we yearn for you. We have talked about you for so long, you really are born of our heart and even though we do not know who you are, or whether you are born yet you are so loved, and already so much a part of our family. We have a great house, in the most wonderful country town in Australia (the most wonderful country in the world) with the most amazing family, and great friends and the best community and the most gorgeous school - all we are waiting for is you. You. Precious, stunning, beautiful you.

I think of you every night before I sleep and I don't know where you are... but the time frames given to me suggest you are only just born or about to be born. If all goes well we expect to pick you up in September 06, and we know many babies allocated to parents our age are about 10 months. Which means "welcome to the world my precious one".

One day I hope you realise just how special you are, and even before you were born just how loved and wanted you are, not just by your Mummy and Daddy, but by Nanna and Aunty Debbie and Uncle Gordon and all our close family.

Precious Angel - I will post some photos of Mummy and Daddy soon on our weekend away. XXX

Bad Mummy...

I know, I know... I said I would not buy anything until we were officially 'paper pregnant' which won't happen until the New Year... but your Daddy encouraged me. I had been thinking about your Nursery and had in my mind what I wanted it to look like... and knew it would all revolve around the quilt I got for you - which I wasn't sure what it would actually look like. And then there it was... and the sheets matched, and then in the next shop I found little storage boxes, soft toys and pyjamas! So I bought the lot and got a theme... pink gingham. And I love it... even showed Lao Lao when she was here.

And this is the crib I am looking at for you - but absolutely not buying until we are official...

Hope you like it darling girl.

Mummy xxx

Woo hoo...

Hello my Princess,
I am feeling really good, and really excited... every step is just baby steps to you. I have just come home from being with Alison - the Social Worker where Daddy and I had another interview - this time separately. And I think it went really well, Alison said "I have no concerns about you being approved to adopt your baby from China." I said that meant a lot to me to hear, because this whole process can feel quite demanding and invasive.

We talked about what mine and Daddy's life would be like with you in it, why we want to bring you home and a little bit about your birth parents. I was telling Alison that sometimes I am acutely aware that on the other side of the world a woman I don't even know is about to give birth to my daughter. And that what will be the most distressing and incredibly difficult moment of her life, will in about a year turn into what will be the most amazing, magnificent and precious moment of my life. And that the next month or so, will be the hardest for you. My prayer to your birth mummy is that she will leave a note or something -that you will have some physical item that will connect you to her/them and to that moment in time. And I pray you will be found quickly, and that you will be looked after, and that every night until we come to China to meet you someone gives you a warm and loving hug.

I wish so much I could come and hold you now my lovely Angel...

Love you xxx

Swimming with the sharks...

Hi baby girl,

While I am waiting for Daddy to download some more recent photos, I thought I would pop this one up for you. This was taken a couple of months ago when Mummy went swimming with the sharks in Sydney. I had a great time and just loved the experience.

Daddy and I have another appointment with the Social Worker tomorrow, so things are still progressing - but the time just seems to go so slow... I'll let you know how things go after the appointment, and I will post some more recent photos.



Wishing you were here with us baby,

Mummy xxx